Zeke Rosenberg Wins Meadows

Zeke with coach Matt Dunay

Congratulations to Bronx Science’s Zeke Rosenberg for winning the 2012 Meadows School Tournament. Zeke is coached by Jon Cruz, Matt Dunay, Ryan Davis, Abhi Elisetty, John Lewis, Zack Struver, and Alex Zhang.

Brentwood JL def. Torrey Pines BL (Benji Lu)
Loyola MG def. La Costa Canyon BC (Brennan Carruthers)
Palo Alto TC def. Brophy SR (Samir Reddy)
Harvard Westlake MO def. Brentwood MS (Max Shapiro)
Loyola CK def. Harker (Srikar Pyda)
Harvard Westlake BG def. Brophy JF (Jack Flynn)
Brentwood AG def. Torrey Pines (Adam Roke)
Bronx Science ZR def. Torrey Pines (Achinthya Soordelu)

HW MO def. Brentwood JL (Jackson Lallas) (Bistagne, Coltin, Spence)
Bronx Science ZR def. Loyola CK (Chris Kymn) (Chioiu, Delatuer, Clancy)
HW BG def. Loyola MG (McKay Giller) (Lamothe, Joshi, Lovell)
Palo Alto TC def. Brentwood AG (Andrew Glantz) 2-1 (*Moorehead, Fink, Pielstick)

Bronx Science ZR def. HW BG (Brendan Gallagher)
HW MO def. Palo Alto TC (Travis Chen) 2-1

Bronx Science ZR def. HW MO (Michael O’Krent)

Champion: Bronx Science ZR (Zeke Rosenberg)

  • Todd Liipfert

    Way to go Zeke! Glad that your hard work at camp paid off!

  • HarbingerOfDarkness

    SPEAK IN ME ORACLES, I command. I am a means, a vessel for the words of Darkness and Justice, a great redeeming tide to cleanse the land of injustice through lyric, song, and story. Nay, I am not a mere bard, I am a prophet, so hear my words and become just. This is a tale about the Emperor Cruz and his army of evil. This story begins as the Emperor takes power. He is young, younger than all the previous emperors, and the first in years to not be of the Hutt clan, so he is apprehensive, paranoid. He fears for his throne as well as for his life. The Bronx Empire is vast, with may connections to the Council of TOC and the Monastery of NFL, but the young Emperor does not fear. He decides to rule with an iron fist and a great battlehorn of red, which he uses to subdue his foes and gain complete control over the land. Many learn to fear his battlecry: “RUDE”. He quickly forms an alliance with Vaughan, the Thane of Scarsdale, and together they rule heavy-handedly over the Northeastern dominion. But such a peace could not last. The great emperor would have to defend himself against challengers to his position, and the overwhelming population of the Bronx Empire was becoming too much of a burden for the Emperor to bear. There could be only one solution. He would raise an army of devoted followers, devoted cronies who would hang on to his every word and execute his every command, his arm, his blade, his shadow. The Emperor turned to his loyal subjects to create his perfect servants: there would be no outsiders in the Bronx Empire leadership. First, he brought the stealthy Du’Nay, the great but forgotten Abhi the Conqueror, and some guy named Reilly from the darkest depths of the Hack Swamps. They were instructed explicitly to never make the right decision in a debate round, no matter what the costs. They obeyed: no one would dare challenge the word of the great Cruz. They swore their utter fealty to him and were unleashed upon the world. However, the lack of talent in the Bronx Empire was not without its consequences. With only the Great Cronies at the helm, the Empire began to collapse. No great warriors were seen out of the Bronx Empire for years. Until one.

    Our story continues with a young citizen of the Bronx Empire, Zeke of Pink Hair. Young Zeke was a talented, but cautious warrior, afraid of his own limitations. He had been trained, like all warriors of the Bronx Empire, under the strict tutelage of Du’Nay, where they learned how to creep people out just by looking at them. Young Zeke did not do well in this field, but his compatriot, Shai of the No Emotions, excelled. Young Zeke followed the tutelage of the scholars of the Bronx Empire, but had little success in battle. Eventually, he realized that the Emperor was only selecting scholars who were from the Bronx Empire and who were loyal to him, not those who knew the most about fair combat. So the Young Zeke became self-taught: he trained in the arcane arts independently of his fellows, and developed skills beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. He was sent to the barren wastelands of Nevada, where he engaged in battle and was quick to be victorious. Young Zeke was overjoyed. Then, as was customary, the Emperor Cruz took all the credit for Young Zeke’s success and listed himself as a coach, even though he hath not coached for many years. Emperor Cruz also did comment on the status as he always did, claiming that he was responsible. None of the Great Cronies had the wherewithal to stand up to the great Emperor, however, and so he lives on, feeding on the success of others. There is hope, however, for the great Bronx Empire. When the blinding light of Justice washes over the land, the great Emperor Cruz will see his folly and restore the Empire to its former glory.

    • anondebaterwat


    • Griffin Miller

      This is Zeke Rosenberg posting through teammate Griffin Miller.
      This is actually the funniest thing I have ever read. You are my hero.

    • Rebar Niemi

      you are jacking my schtick sir.

      • HarbingerOfDarkness

        I’m sorry Rebar, join me, we will make merriment together.

    • Maybe when I started I was not a member of the Hutt clan. Unfortunately, these days…

      • Rebar Niemi

        kilee jedai

  • Congratulations, Zeke. I am SO proud of you.

  • Griffin Miller

    Congrats on the bid and winning TWO tournaments in a row!

    • This is too good. lol like Griffin said..ALL HAIL KAISER ROSENBERG! 😀