BREAKING: Impending Valley Round Robin triggers massive freestyle rap throw-down



Monday, September 9, 2013 –

The battle for the championship of the Valley Round Robin began in earnest late Monday night with a massive freestyle rap throw-down between Jared Paul of Brentwood and Adam Tomasi of Sacred Heart.

The melee began on the Facebook when Mr. Paul posted on Mr. Tomasi’s timeline:

“looking forward to valley round robin, too bad ull be in the backroom sobbin after u get hit with some jp mobbin, its your ballots that ill be robbin.”

Not to be outdone, Mr. Tomasi rejoined:

“the valley round robin is mine to win

sacred heart swag that i rep i don’t sin

tried to get shots fired but damn you’re missin

you should see the girl there that i’d be kissin

getting paper like it’s arbor day, never had a harder day

when i had to deal with the haters like it’s barter day

tryna trade for my swag, well man check the wiki

im so young money that i’d be the male Nicki

jared pall because you’re carried off for dead

left a couple marx, so I’m red”

To which Mr. Paul replied:

“too bad atomswags raps are badder than an old mans bladder, making me sadder and madder than u crying in the bathroom thinking of a girl wishing u had her. i wont look at the wiki ever, never, thats a task that i wont endeavorer, but when it comes to pulling women, you know i do better . your probably jealous of this california weather while ur crying in september wearing a sweater made of feather. this battle is causing more hectic than hurricane katrina, i found myself a girl her name is [redacted]. i could go on all day but ill get out of ur way, however i must say its too bad ur debating for a judge thats lay, by the end of this ur hair will be grey, i will end u, like brentwood running the speed K.”

The heated freestyle exchange went on for several more posts before both competitors decided to stop and do their homework.

Thus far the community consensus regarding this epic battle is that both Tomasi and Paul are brilliant debaters and, really, they should consider sticking to that.